The Making of a Mortifying Mom Makeover

Usually when you see the word makeover, you assume there will be an improvement, that you’ll come out looking better than you did before. I fear that with my last trip to the beauty salon the opposite has happened. And I wish I had someone else to blame.

I don’t know why, but it seems like as soon as women find out they are pregnant, they start making some other changes. As if packing on an average of 40 lbs and trading in a tight tummy for a beach ball isn’t drastic enough. Some quit smoking or commit to eating healthier, but the vast majority make the biggest changes to one thing: their hair.

For as many women who stop coloring their hair–I was not one of them thanks to my hairdresser’s preference for organic dye–even more opt for the proverbial chop. I count myself among the throngs there. I just felt like I couldn’t deal with the longer locks and went for what I thought was a very sleek, chic bob. In retrospect, it might have been the beginning of a mom do. By the time my super straight locks hit my shoulders, my fear was full fledged: My haircut could be best described as “soccer mom.”

So, recently I figured I might try to put some style back into my hairstyle. I wanted to go back long again. That was going to take some time, so I needed something to change up the look in the meantime.

Now, I haven’t had bangs since the seventh grade, when I had a severe case of the fuglies–a bad bob, bad bangs, big glasses, and blemishes. All that was missing were the braces. (Those came later). Apparently all that had slipped my mind because as I sat down in the salon chair, I told my hairstylist to start cutting bangs.

The Look I Was Going For

Now, in my head, I was going for a fresh, edgy, urban mom look. I was thinking heavy, blunt bangs à la Zooey Deschanel. Cute, right? Instead I think I made a Katie Holmes-degree mistake, ending up with a do that probably makes me look a decade older than I

The Look I May Have Ended Up With

really am. On a good day they might look a little like Sandra Bullock’s Golden Globe bangs, oh which incidentally landed her on at least one Hollywood insider’s worst dressed list.

The biggest problem is that my super straight bangs–at least I got the blunt part right–keep splitting, leaving the fringe looking piece-y, dare I say stringy a lot of the time. And no amount of hair drying or brushing seems to consistently solve this problem. Plus, I didn’t realize just how fast my hair grows, so a week goes by and the ends of my bangs are literally obstructing my vision.

My husband says that he thinks my bangs will look better when my hair grows out more. That’s pretty much how I know they are as bad as I think they are. So, the next question is what to do about them. Do I stay committed to them, but get more cut to add some heft to them? Or do I just leave them as is and hope that all the hair that felt out postpartum will grow back soon enough and fill out the fringe? Or do I just say “uncle” and start growing them out (again)?

Decisions, decisions. And to think all this deliberation when the most exciting places I go are the gym and the grocery store.


Filed under daily life, mom style, mommy care, moms, working mom

4 responses to “The Making of a Mortifying Mom Makeover

  1. Maggie

    Sarah! Bangs I want to see! I was actually thinking about getting bangs recently but, I cant seem to move past me as a 7 yr old being traumatized by them. I bet they look great on you! And with shorter hair it must be so cute! I do get the soccer mom phobia though and I’ve promised myself I will never have short curly hair as an old lady.

  2. I thought that I would feel differently about bangs as an adult, but I’m starting to think that however you felt about them at 7 is probably the way you’ll feel about them today. I really should post some pictures of the fated bangs, but at this point I’ve only got video where I look like the strung-out mommy that I am these days. So, as soon as I get a pic where they look decent, I’ll post that, along with some not-so-great shots and we can put it to a poll. I’d really like to know if the times they look good outweigh the times they look less than stellar.

    By the way, I love your blog, particular since I’m also raising a five-month Dobie puppy along with a baby. What was I thinking?

  3. That’s awesome. They’re such a pain. Cute but, a pain. I can sympathize greatly for the poop/pee in the kennel. Not sure how you’re doing it with a baby!
    Thanks for the kind words about my blog. It’s silly but, I didn’t want to just launch a website without knowing if anyone would go to it! At least this gives me an idea.
    Good luck with the snowstorm! Looks bad from here….

  4. Well, good luck with the blog. To do them right, it takes a lot of time, but I think they are pretty fun and you’re off to a great start. Stay in touch!

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